It's late on a Sunday night & the beginning of the end!

Hi Everyone,

Less than two weeks to go before the big day. Two bloody weeks! Yes it's definitely time to accept that there is no escaping the idea of my very own baby being here soon. I say 'my baby' but of course I mean our baby. Though as it was pointed out to me tonight - my partner has the dominant traits (dark, hair, ark eyes, dark skin) - so it's unlikely that the baby might look like me at all!  Of course I'm going down the denial route....

I found some more great instructional pictures too, so I'll add a couple more here to break up my waffling on...

And one of my favorite tips....

It was the last night of our antenatal class tonight, which I have to say has been brilliant and I'm not just saying that because I told the course leaders about this blog. Everyone in the group is lovely, down to earth and obviously going through the same kind of experience as we are.  Many of the group are also in a similar situation to us and don't have lots of close family close by. I must say though, the focus on the after-birth has been so useful and full of practical ideas about how best to get through those first few weeks of life with a baby - I'd recommend those classes for that reason alone. Though the weekly supper isn't a bad reason either. Having dedicated time each week to think properly about planning things and hear from people that have just been through the experience has been awesome. Having two engaging and hilarious facilitators has just been the icing on the cake! 

Now anyone that knows me well will know how much I love a good massage, well believe it or not there's a whole big thing about baby massage - here's a helpful photo below!

I have not really felt particularly paternal yet, which has been a little surprising as I imagined I would get a lot more involved with talking to the baby whilst he's still cooking in my partner's tummy. There have been times when I've felt a little bit bad, guilty even, but having spoke with a few dads I know it's not an uncommon things before the baby actually arrives. So I have tried to think how I can make up for that when the baby arrives. I came across a brilliant website full of ideas of how to have fun with a baby (especially when the mum is away...)

....and I'm all for some fancy dress parties when they get a little older...

But my favorite so far has to be....

The Occupation Bit....
As discussed in the first post - the number of conversations about your upcoming baby, and the level of detail you start to share with others changes. I've found myself and others (most often in the antenatal class but not always) sharing quite personal things about their partner's body, or plans for birth. Conversations with most friends and family continue to to baby focused, or certainly start with baby- related questions. Weekend plans are now determined by how far away from home we can go, or activities can my partner safely navigate. Basically 85-90% of my week has a baby focus, and I'm really grateful for the 10-15% of my week where I can still hang out with people / do something (like play football) where people are not seeing me mainly as a dad-to-be, but just Dan...
The ultimate occupational change is about to hit us as a family very soon. I'm feeling ready - well as ready as a guy can be. Lets see if I am still saying that in 2 weeks time.

A Dad to be...

Post 2 - Alternative Baby Showers & D-Day getting closer....

Hello everybody, 

Thanks for the comments from last week's post. It's funny how once you start sharing some of your personal thoughts and fears, other people seem to feel comfortable to start doing the same back. I've had a few people mention their own thoughts about having a kid and the changes (both good and bad) that it has brought to their lives.

BABY SHOWERS:

The most significant events since the last post have been two baby showers, which we held in our humble yet small home. This required some serious logistical planning as we have just 5 available seats, 3 large plates, 4 mugs and 3 glasses - fortunately I have a good OT brain for problem solving and more importantly I have amazing friends who supplied us with extra chairs. I knew this was an important event for my partner, but it wasn't something I had been particularly excited about. Having never been to a baby shower, I had little idea of what it was all about. That was until we decided that we'd have a kind of alternative baby shower event for my mates. Having more Co-ed games meant we could have a bit more adult fun. 

Linus' home made baby biscuits were awesome and they even had the appropriate male & female anatomy:

We've all heard of 'pin the tail on the donkey', well this is the baby shower version!

Not every one got this close and there were plenty of laughs at this game. We also played the classic: who can identify the baby food??

After a baby quiz, there was a more sedate activity of writing a nice / funny message on a nappy (to surprise the parents when they use the nappy in several weeks time). A surprisingly fun game included the drawing of a picture of a baby on a plate, whilst the plate is on your head...

The party ended with a game of 'Cards Against Humanity' - which for anyone who that game, is not the kind of thing that you'd normally find at a baby shower.

I have to admit the second (and more traditional) baby shower had some of the same games including baby Pictionary - which ended is serious confusion as it was conducted in both English & Spanish simultaneously. The tone of the humour was very different but both days were full of laughter with big piles of food, drink & dishes, which is always the sign of a good social event! Once again the generosity of people who do not know my partner very was, was truly humbling and overwhelming.

AND THE REST...

We got a bit of a shock at the anti-natal class this week as one of the couples already had given birth (albeit very early), but it really had me thinking 'oh shit' this could happen any time now! So I revisited the great instructional manual I referenced quite a bit in last week's blog...

I'm finding these instruction manuals very informative, and to be honest they reflect some of my funny inner thoughts when I think about having a baby around in my daily life - in just a few short weeks.

The anti-natal classes have now started to focus more on parenting skills than the act of giving birth, and I think the women in the class are probably just as relieved as I am about that. Not only because there is only so much really want to hear about your body trying shove out a large melon, but also as the partner's know that there isn't much you can do whilst your partner goes through one of life's most painful experiences and you have to hear your partner create sounds more often heard in a zoo. All this while you are supposed to smile and nod and say "it's going to be alright"... I mean women don't believe men about how bad 'man flu' so I doubt I'll be believed that popping out a baby will be 'alright after a few pushes and pregnancy pain is positive pain'....

The thing I think I'm most looking forward to about parenting is seeing the social development of a child and actually being an active part of the conditioning 'growing up' process. I like to think that I can have some fun (in a socially responsible way of course), with such great examples like the one below.

I'm quite aware of the importance of attachment (physical & emotional attachment) and having worked with a brilliant OT in my last job who shared her work based on Attachment Theory, and how it can impact on individuals right through their lives especially with forming social relationships. So just ensuring a baby is well cared for in the early weeks and months will be the main focus for us.

That said, I like to be creative and have seen some brilliant examples of creative parenting....   

Needless to say I'm looking forward to creating some momentous parenting moments. Not just punishments and good lessons, but fun and creative stuff like the kitchen dwelling dinosaur who creates chaos every night (a great way to get kids up in the morning and into the kitchen to eat breakfast)....

Let the fun commence!

Dan