3 Months! We are at three months of the baby’s existence. We’ve been told this is a good sign, and I’ve heard many a new (ish) parent say, "oh it gets a bit easier after three months." I’ve also heard other parents say 6 months… 12 months… 2 years…..   

Regardless of other’s experiences all I can say is –  Things are definitely a bit more settled at this time than they were a few weeks ago. Practice = confidence, it’s this simple process that has made a big difference to me. There is far less baby related crisis now. We have learned by experience to deal with such events as poonamis, crying fits, long periods of being unsettled, and other ‘what the ???##**!## do we do?’ moments. We are feeling more prepared with each passing week. The words in the picture below make a great mantra.

Yes I am glad we have a nice routine, and it works most of the time, (Yes I am aware it could change at any time… hence being very grateful for it right now). Our new family routine has changed significantly, I wouldn’t say it’s better or worse – it’s just different! There are many more things to do, and much less time for social pursuits, but equally there is the growing sense of mastery over a new process and a very deep appreciation for the parent’s new born babies that I can honestly say I didn’t have before.  I'm not sure about other people's expereince, but having a good bedtime routine, including having a bath (the baby - not the parent), and a gradual sensory slow down process (decreasing stimulus, noise and lighting) has helped our little one with getting to sleep so far. Top-Tip: We have used the advice of having hot air blowing when the baby is on the changing table as it seems to sooth him (a fan or hairdryer works well).  

I wouldn’t say my overall perspectives on life have changed nor would I say my values have changed greatly, though I would say my priorities have changed – and it’s been a change made out of necessity. I’ve heard lots of people say ‘oh I can’t imagine my life before he/she came along” – though personally I can not only vividly cunjour up the images of my pre-baby life, I miss elements of it greatly.   This conflict of enjoying the new experiences and processes whilst missing previous experiences has been a little stressful for me.

These are the kind of guides I would recommend (below), as the amount of ‘advice’ that new parents are bombarded with is just insane. Yes of course when the baby cries for a long time and nothing seems to clam him, or if he looks in pain I worry, however bringing a smile to my own face stops me from getting too worried. I love these instruction manuals below because they always make me laugh.

(I have to say it is funny watching parents of new borns trying to make the smile. I have even found myself doing things I would have totally have thought as as bing silly or stupid, to try and get a smile).
There is something quite magical about when your baby starts smiling, though I think that smile is seen as a signifcant dvelopmental milestone, but more importantly I think parents interpret the smile as as part of a more selfish thought cycle (If baby is smiling, baby is happy = if baby is happy = I'm being a good parent = I have validation I'm doing ok). I wonder if there are cultures out there where smiling is not used in the same way and how people validate their parenting abaility with new-borns?? Hmm - that's a question for another day.

To Vaccinate or not to vaccinate???

The internet is not your friend..... I repeat the internet is not your friend. Our little one has just had his 12 week injections, that was our choice, but I had little idea that there are some truly mad people out there in Internet land who want to scare anybody looking to get online advice about vacinations for babies...

Personally, I think it's a parent's choice. Unfortunately as we all know, the internet gives a platform for anyone with a passion to throw out their own opinions, bias and sometimes crazy rants about why you should or should not do something and the scary consequences if you don't do as they say. I've always been pretty confident in my own decision-making and cynical when I see passionate arguments on-line without acknowledgement of both sides of the argument. All I will say to new parents is talk with friends and family - ignore 95% of the crap on the internet.

The Occupational Bit....
Routine has always been a good friend of mine. Spontaneity is all well and good when you have time, but when your world is suddenly consumed with something like a baby (or travel / death of somebody close / new job / trauma etc, then the familiarity and certainty of a routine can be immensely powerful.  The routine that has come with much thought, some planning, and heaps of trial and error has allowed us as a family to feel more confident and certain that we can manage this new situation well enough. Making sure the routine does not overwhelm us is also equally important, so having supportive friends and family help tremendously.
We've talked about the effects of sleep deprivation before, however through this experience I have learned how the disturbed sleep can affect my movement, concentration, focus and decision-making in many areas of my life and work.
I've also worked hard at making sure I do some things (play football), and spend time with some people where there is very little talk of babies or parenting, and I get a reminder my existance is not only to provide for and protect a baby. I appreciate other parents may feel differently.

On to the next chapter....